this is the funniest thing I have ever seen someone say on roblox
queer housing groups are a great place to meet people you would never, under any circumstances, want to live with.
queer housing groups are like:
“hi manhattan folx. we are both fresh out of school and looking to split rent 3/4s* with one (1) quiet femme roommate. wed prefer to live with someone who is not greek, cannot practice martial arts and was recently fired from their job.
we are looking for a quiet person because it is a MUST that you do not ever speak to my partner due to his inability to behave normally. if you need trouble him, you will pass messages beneath our bedroom door at precisely 3am on sundays only.
you mightve heard about us from our previous roommate, moon. she will be posting in various local groups saying we sold her ferret on craigslist. please PM me for more details.
we are looking for some who
- is not mentally ill
- is not disabled
- will not be seen or heard
- does not have friends
- will wash dishes for us
you would be living in a cardboard box in our living room. we have a washing machine and dryer but ask that you do not use it, instead going to the laundromat down the street and matching whatever you paid them to pay us as well.
we are both lawyers but one of us roams the streets at night wearing a mask with horns and performing vigilante justice. you must be able to perform first aid at all hours. (and of course comfy doing this xo.)
people with leopard geckos and capricorns need not apply.
*as in you pay ¾ of the rent.”
i think this is the least appealing local queer housing post i’ve ever personally seen, but a close second was the one with a communal household sex dungeon in the laundry room
when the premiere of your movie is on the same night as your pajama party so you have to compromise
He isn’t even wearing shoes omg
I remember when we were joking about states which wouldn't let you pump your own gas. Guess they got the last laugh here.
types of girls:
1. syrup that tastes so sweet but leaves a stickiness that won’t leave
2. docile dandelions that blow away and leave you forever
3. animal bones that crush under your jaw
4. home
What Do This Mean .
i can’t explain my poetry often.
aight
for you people who think this is funny and honestly dont get my poem i will spell it out for you in 6th grade format. if you guys still dont understand after this I can reblog this again and explain in baby talk.
1. syrup that tastes so sweet but leaves a stickiness that wont leave
means that girls who are so great/amazing whatever but she moved on or
doesnt like you or whatever so she never leaves your head.hence the
stickiness that wont leave.
2. docile dandelions that blow away
and leave you forever. this can mean a few things but basically a
fragile girl who gets hurt and leaves you. “blow away” meaning you blew
on her (the dandelion) metaphor for you hurting her.
3. animal
bones that crush under your jaw. okay i understand how this is confusing
to some but its really the bad girls the rebels the girls who are
labeled “sluts”
4. home. you feel safe around her she is inside
you like a home you are inside her and never want to leave. she makes
you feel comfortable she makes you feel warm she is typically a
girlfriend a wife. do i need to explain more about this one?
Im going to tag this under my major tags so the stupid people who come visit my blog after seeing a reblog of that “WHAT DO THIS MEAN” with the black guy or whatever it was can understand that i didnt just write random stuff. im not saying that poem was good but im saying it makes sense but it wont make sense if you’re a surface thinker
if anyone has seen this and know someone whos reblogged that stupid post show them this.
aight